Make Babies with Me
by MelissaMargaret
Summary: A Talk Nerdy to Me sequel. Nerdlisle, MG, and a whole bunch of babies. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Don't own it. Wish I did.

We're gonna do this like Nerdlisle. Short, frequent updates. Frequent meaning probably more than once a day. They'll be a little shorter than Talk Nerdy to Me, but happen more often. If you haven't read the first, I recommend doing that before reading this or it won't make sense.

As with basically everything I write, you can thank kr2009 for this. She made me do it. Look what you did, Kelley!

Thanks so much for reading!

* * *

"So, how long do we wait?"

"Two minutes."

"Seriously? Oh my God."

"Carlisle, baby, settle down. It's not a big deal."

She hops off the bathroom counter where she's been sitting and pats my arm, while I stare at her, my mouth hanging open.

Is she on crack? This is a really huge deal.

My phone buzzes on the dresser and I get up to check it, knowing it's Edward.

_Did the pee stick change color yet?_

I reply with a "it doesn't change color, dumbass" and toss the phone on the bed. Has it been two minutes yet? Seriously longest wait of my life. My heart is pounding so hard I swear it's about to explode.

MG on the other hand is scary calm. Really, woman, you might have a human growing inside you. Freak out or something.

I walk back into the bathroom where Esme is sitting on the counter again, staring at the stick.

She looks up at me and her face is covered in tears.

"What happened?"

I am seriously freaking out now. Is she hurt? Is she sick? Do we need to go to the hospital?

"Carlisle, we're gonna have a baby."

My knees give out and I fall back against the counter.

"Babe, are you okay?" she says, taking my face in her hands, her eyes moving over my face in a panic.

"A baby?" I whisper.

She giggles. "Yeah. A baby."

I'm gonna be a dad.

A dad.

Oh my God.

I slap her arm. "Woman, you scared me! You were crying and I thought I was gonna have to take you to the hospital! I don't like hospitals."

She giggles and wraps her arms around my shoulders, kissing me softly.

"Well, you better start liking them, mister, because we are having a baby."


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry about the wait. I'm neurotic about researching this stuff.

Endless thanks to anhanninen for keeping my plot on track and to kr2009 for being the best medical dictionary ever. I couldn't write this without the two of them and their patience with me.

* * *

Waiting rooms are weird.

Like _really_ weird.

They always have peeling wallpaper left over from the eighties and there's at least seven sick people in every one.

Yeah, let's just throw all the sick people in a room together. That's a good idea.

That's not really the case in this one, but there are pregnant women_ everywhere_. What is it about a tuesday afternoon that makes every pregnant women need to suddenly see their doctor?

Like I said, weird.

My leg is bouncing nervously, and MG keep glancing sideways at me and grinning.

I think she's enjoying how uncomfortable I am here.

"Cullen?"

I sigh in relief when the nurse opens the door and calls our name. Finally I can get out of this ocean of pregnancy!

After taking Esme's weight and stuff we're shown into a room where the nurse takes her vitals and asks what brings us in today.

"Umm… I took a test, and it's positive, so… I guess we need to confirm it."

The nurse smiles. "Okay, Mrs. Cullen. When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"March tenth, so thirty-seven days . I counted."

"Any morning sickness, tenderness, exhaustion?"

"I'm really tired all the time," she says. "And my breasts are kind of tender."

"Okay," the nurse says. "That's perfectly normal. We'll take a blood sample to have tested and then the doctor will be in to discuss things further with you."

Esme looks the other way and squeezes my hand while they draw a vile of blood. My wife's a trooper, but not so much when it comes to needles.

Once we're alone, I ask how she's feeling.

"I'm all right," she assures me. "It's just kind of scary, you know? We're gonna be parents."

"I know."

It still doesn't feel real at all.

We haven't told anyone yet, because we wanted to wait until we were sure. Now I'm not sure I want to tell anyone ever. This feels like something I want to keep as our little secret. Of course my mother would kill me and chop me into little pieces if we did that.

It feels like forever that we wait, but eventually Esme's regular OB/GYN comes in. I've never met her before, but Esme assures me she's been coming here since she first started dating Charles.

That dick.

I'm still pissed about him.

I shake Dr. Carmen's hand and stand beside Esme as she hops up onto the table.

"Well, Esme, it looks like you are indeed pregnant. I'd say about four weeks."

"Oh my God," Esme whispers, squeezing my hand as hard as she can. "It's real. We're really having a real baby."

Dr. Carmen laughs. "Yes, Esme. You really are having a real baby. Congratulations, mom and dad. I'll give you a minute and then we'll meet in my office to discuss where we go from here."

As soon as she shuts the door Esme is off the table and in my arms. "You're gonna be a daddy," she says into my neck."

I laugh. "And you're going to be a mommy. I love you so much, Esme. I never thought I'd experience this ever, and now here we are."

I held on tight to my wife as the reality hit me. In eight months I was going to be a dad. Esme had given me every gift I never thought I'd have, and now she was giving me the ultimate gift — a baby of our very own.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own _Twilight._

Kelley and Ashley are amazing and I wouldn't be writing this without their input. They keep me on track and I'm forever grateful.

Thanks so much for reading!

* * *

I stare at my tiny side of our closest, not knowing what on earth to wear.

What does one wear to tell their parents they're gonna be grandparents?

Jeans and a t-shirt seems too informal, but if I wear a suit and tie mom will know something's up.

I can't win.

"What's up, babe?"

Esme comes up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I grip her hand in mine and sigh. "I don't know what to wear."

"Your superman shirt," she says simply.

"Why that?"

"Because you're my superman."

I turn around in her arms and kiss her slowly. "I love you, my awesomely pregnant wife."

"I love you too, my awesome husband," she says with a laugh.

In the end I decide on jeans and a white button down that I usually wear to work. That seems simple enough.

The drive to my parents house seems a hell of a lot shorter than normal, but maybe that's just because I feel like I'm about to pass out. I wasn't this nervous the first time I brought her here. Now MG and my mom are practically BFF's and we come here all the time, but not like this.

This time there's a tiny human growing in my wife.

I look down at her stomach when we pull into the driveway and smile. Her body hasn't changed yet that I can tell, but knowing my baby is growing inside her is the most exciting thing I've ever experienced.

It's only been two weeks since we first went to the doctor, but we decided we couldn't keep it to ourselves anymore.

My mom ushers us into the dining room where dinner is already on the table. My brother fist bumps me in greeting and hugs Esme before we all sit down. This will be the first time Edward hears our news too, and I'm almost more nervous for his reaction than my mother's.

"So, how is everything going with you two," my mother asks as we sit.

"Well, actually we have some good news to share," Esme says.

I stare at her in shock.

"We're doing this now?" I whisper in her ear.

"Might as well before you faint."

I grin. My wife knows me so well.

"Oh?" My mom asks.

"Yes." Esme squeezes my hand before announcing to the table, "we're pregnant."

Mom screams and her hand flies to her mouth as the tears start.

Oh, here we go. I knew she was gonna get all girly and emotional.

"Holy shit," Edward whispers. That's all he can get out, though, because not even a second later mom is out of her chair, around the table, and wrapping her arms around Esme and I.

"My babies are gonna have babies!"

"Hey!" Edward says. "I'm your baby, too."

"Hush, son," my father says. "And Elizabeth, stop suffocating them for goodness sake."

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just can't believe I'm finally gonna be a grandma."

I smile as she sits back down and dad congratulates us. Now that it's out there I'm glad Esme thought to tell them before we ate. I don't feel nearly as sick as I did before, which is good, because I'm pretty sure I'm having Esme's morning sickness for her.

That's one family down, one to go. If possible I'm even more terrified to tell MG's parents, but we'll do that later. Right now I just want to enjoy this evening with my family and my beautiful wife.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi. Sorry so fail. I work in retail and this time of year is insane. Many thanks as always to KR2009 and anhanninen for pre-reading, and thank you for reading!

* * *

"Yes, Mom... Yes... Yes, Mom, we're coming this weekend... Yes."

I smile, watching MG on the phone with her mom. She's sitting on the couch using her shoulder to hold the phone while she aimlessly flips through channels. I'm in the kitchen fixing a glass of lemonade my mom made for us.

"No, Mom, we'll be fine."

She glances up and sees me trying not to laugh. She rolls her eyes and makes a rolling motion toward the phone with her hand, signaling her mom needs to wrap it up already. And I thought my mom could talk. She has nothing on Esme's.

"Okay, Mom, I gotta… Mom, I gotta go. Yes, I love you too... Okay, we'll see you in a couple days."

Finally she hangs up and drops the phone onto the couch.

"Oh my God, I thought she'd never quit. I thought graduating and getting married would mean she stopped worrying over me so much, but apparently not."

"Nah," I tell her. "Can you imagine what it's gonna be like to tell her? I'm scared."

"It's not her you need to be scared of, babe. My dad might cut your balls off for defiling his little girl."

I blanch. "We've been married for a year. And besides you weren't a wedding night virgin."

She arches her eyebrow and I immediately know that wasn't the thing to say. She hasn't been super hormonal or anything yet, but the littlest things set her off lately.

Thankfully she lets that one go and I get to keep my balls… For now.

.

.

.

Friday afternoon finds us in my car on the way to her parent's home outside of town. MG was throwing up all morning and started crying because she was throwing up so much, so we got a late start to the day.

So much for not being hormonal yet.

We make it to their property late afternoon after Esme's mom called about thirty times to make sure we hadn't died. Yeah, she's not clingy at all.

Esme told her we didn't hear our alarm. My wife is a smooth liar, but I'm still panicking when we pull up the drive. What if she has some kind of weird mom sense that can tell when someone around is pregnant?

As usual when we come out her mom has cooked half a grocery store worth of food. We sit down to eat, and the conversation might be flowing smoothly, but I feel so awkward I can hardly speak.

A little while later, we're sitting around the living room talking when Esme finally reaches into her purse.

"So, Mom, Dad, we have some news."

She hands her mom the first sonogram and doesn't say a word. Her mom's eyes fill with tears just like my mom's did. What is with women and leaking from their eyeballs over babies?

She's a blubbering mess with her arms wrapped around my wife and I think this might be a good reaction, but I'm concerned she might strangle MG.

Her dad is holding the sonogram and when I look over he's staring at me so hard I feel like my balls are gonna crawl back up inside me.

He looks down at the sonogram and back up at me, and then a large smile cracks his face. He stands up and comes to me extending his hand. I take it and he shocks the hell out of me by pulling me off the couch and into a hug.

This man has never hugged me.

In fact no man has ever hugged me except my dad.

I don't know where to put my hands.

Just when I panic about them hanging awkwardly at my sides he pulls back.

"Congratulations, son. I can't believe I'm gonna be a grandfather."


End file.
